You may be a runner …

One hundred signs that you may be a runner.

1. You start carrying your running shoes and clothes everywhere, you know, just in case.
2. When people ask what you do, you don’t mention your job or profession, you say “I run.”
3. You can eat at least pound of spaghetti at a sitting.
4. People don’t want to be around you if you’re injured because you’re not running and if you’re not running, you’re not pleasant to be around.
5. You know what GU is, you like to talk about your PRs, and your major goal in life is to BQ.
6. Even though you’re not a doctor, you can talk at length about VO2Max, oxygen transport, glycogen, and assorted other physiological terms.
7. You’ve considered taking a course in chemistry or biochemistry to learn more about how the body metabolizes things.
8. You know what a snot rocket is.
9. You’ve developed an excellent snot rocket technique.
10. You say fartlek — and don’t giggle.
11. All your shirts have a list of sponsors on the back.
12. Your idea of a good day is getting up before the rooster and running 10 miles.
13. You start to say things like “I’m ONLY running 8 miles today.”
14. People begin referring to you as the human garbage disposal.
15. Even your dog avoids you because even he doesn’t want to run that much.
16. You have a sports medicine doctor on speed dial.
17. People begin to tell you “I don’t even like to drive that far” when you tell them your weekly mileage.
18. You own so many race shirts, you can’t even close your dresser drawers.
19. You’ve had virtually every common running injury.
20. The trunk of your car is filled with running shoes and gear.
21. At least one of your toenails is black.
22. At least one of your toenails has fallen off.
23. Your podiatrist recoiled in horror at the sight of your feet.
24. You know what plantar fascitis is and you can pronounce it correctly.
25. You have to buy new shoes every month or two because you burn through them so fast.
26. You’ve worn out a treadmill motor (or two).
27. You’ve run so much on the gym’s treadmill, you are burning a hole in the belt.
28. You’ve run for two hours or more on a treadmill.
29. You wear your running watch, even with dress clothes.
30. You don’t think that a guy putting band aids on his nipples is strange in the least.
31. You watch how people walk and have to stifle the urge to tell them they are an overpronator and need stability shoes.
32. When you drive down a road you think this would be a great place to go for a run.
33. People assume your water bottle is an extension of your body because you have it everywhere, even when fine dining.
34. Although you can’t walk properly, you’re still going to “try” and run.
35. You’ve had to walk down steps backwards because you’re so sore.
36. You’ve done a double digit “recovery run.”
37. Even though you couldn’t do math well in school, you have an uncanny ability to calculate mile splits in your head.
38. You find yourself daydreaming about your run.
39. People don’t dare ask you about your running because they know you won’t shut up if they get you started.
40. When you go to a new city on a business trip, you find out where your hotel is beforehand and start planning out where you’re going to go for your run.
41. If a study came out tomorrow that said running is bad for your health, you’d be out running anyway.
42. You write stories about running.
43. You keep a running log.
44. You eat and drink double what everyone else does — and yet you are always the thinnest or fittest looking person in the group anyway.
45. You have every run you’ve ever done logged in detail since you began running.
46. When people don’t even bother to ask if you’re going to go running on major holidays — they know you are.
47. When you travel, you have to take an extra bag for your running gear.
48. Your MP3 player is filled with running music exclusively.
49. You’ve run around the block a few extra times, just to meet some arbitrary mileage goal.
50. You wear shorts even when it’s below freezing.
51. When you travel, you wear your running shoes, just to make sure they don’t get lost.
52. You avidly watch weather.com and the Weather Channel.
53. You’ve seen a major thunderstorm coming, and calculated precisely how many miles you can get in before it hits.
54. You’ve found yourself ten miles away from your car, in the woods, in the middle of nowhere and you were happy about it.
55. You have trouble remembering co-workers names, but you can recall precisely the time you ran five years ago in an unimportant race.
56. You can’t throw out old running shoes because there are “too many memories” attached to them.
57. You find the first and last things you think about is your run.
58. Although you know nothing about the metric system, you know exactly how far to the tenth of mile a 5K and 10K are.
59. Your resting heart rate is so low, nurses say regularly “Oh you must be a runner” without you even saying anything.
60. More than half your paycheck seems to be going towards running related expenses.
61. You flip through your medical chart, and find your doctor regularly comments on how much you run.
62. You’ve planned a vacation around a race.
63. You own trail shoes, road shoes, lightweight shoes for racing …
64. You buy Gatorade by the case.
65. You’ve run through a blizzard, because you didn’t want to miss a day.
66. You’ve run in a monsoon because you didn’t want to miss a day.
67. You’ve run when the heat index is over 110 because you didn’t want to miss a day.
68. Your neighbors all refer to you as “that crazy runner.”
69. You run five miles, as a “warm up.”
70. You see a runner while out driving on a cold and rainy night, and still say “damn, I wish that was me.”
71. You go to races for a chance to meet the opposite sex, since at least you’ll have running in common.
72. Finding someone of the opposite sex willing to talk to you at a race, you find yourself discussing snot rocket techniques.
73. You’ve said “I’m going out for an easy 10.”
74. You’ve said “20 miles” and “easy” in the same sentence.
75. You think golf courses are a great place — for running hills.
76. You spend a lot of hours on running message boards, just to be around other runners, since no one else “understands you.”
77. When you change your running route, the people who lived along your old route notice and miss you.
78. You try and convert everyone you know into a runner.
79. You’ve been told by a doctor that he isn’t going to bother telling you not to run, because he knows you’ll just do it anyway.
80. You have shelves full of “hardware” and medals.
81. You consider 6 AM to be “sleeping in.”
82. You consider a bad run better than no run at all.
83. You like to eat salt.
84. You’ve run on every road within a twenty mile radius of your house.
85. You think meeting a living running legend like Bill Rodgers would be “way cooler” than meeting, oh say, the Queen of England or the President.
86. You know to the nearest second what your steady state, recovery, long, and tempo run paces should be.
87. When you get a new race time, you rush to enter it into a pace calculator to see what your new paces would be.
88. You know the location of all public restrooms and water fountains within a twenty mile radius of your house.
89. You’ve skipped work at least once to go for a run.
90. You’ve gone to court in running shoes because you forgot your dress shoes.
91. You double knot even your Oxford shoes.
92. You’ve run at 3:30 in the morning.
93. The salespeople are the local running store know you by name and know exactly what shoe you take.
94. You’ve tested the casual dress policy at work by wearing a running shirt.
95. You try and convince people to do a 5K, as it’s “only 3 miles.”
96. You think maybe Phidippides fate wasn’t such a bad way to go.
97. You don’t think -20 is too cold for running.
98. You don’t think 105 in the shade is too hot for running.
99. You take an especial pride in the fact that running is used as punishment in all other sports.
100. You laughed and related to most of the above comments.

Tags: humor, lists, Running