Sharpsburg

Someone emailed me and asked where <em>Cold Mountain</em> and <em>Gods and Generals</em> were on my top 20 movie list. To be honest, neither came close to making the final cut. <em>A Few Good Men</em> did. But not GG or CM.

As for the latter, I really didn’t like <em>Cold Mountain</em> at all. I thought it was gratuitously violent. I am not much for foul language or sex scenes. I didn’t find any of the characters very appealing and felt zero emotional attachment to any of them. To me, a movie succeeds if I feel involved, attached. <em>Cold Mountain</em> didn’t do anything for me at all. I plain, flat-out didn’t like it.

As for <em>Gods and Generals</em>, you know … I tried so hard to like it. Its rare we Civil War buffs get a real Civil War movie about battles and history and the generals who fought. <em>Gods and Generals</em> was a huge disappointment. It covered too much of the War and skipped too much important stuff. It focused far too much on Jackson and neglected to show his evil, fight-with-everyone side. It made hideous historical mistakes — and it was terribly cliched. The movie completely lost me when they chose to mutilate Jackson’s last words. Dr. Hunter McGuire, Jackson’s surgeon, carefully recorded what Jackson said while he lay dying. We have a very accurate record. There was no excuse for the contrived tripe they had Jackson say instead.

[And. Yes, I'm a <em>bit</em> bitter also about how Hill was protrayed. In my opinion, <a href="http://suvcw.org/ny/archive/encampment01/gettysburg.htm">Patrick Falci</a> should have played Hill, and Hill's rank at Chancellorsville shouldn't have been messed up, AND it was stupid to cut out "Order A.P. Hill to prepare for action" from Jackson's final words.]

Anyway, the Civil War battle I think they could make an outstanding, <em>Gettysburg</em>-style movie about is Sharpsburg. Sharpsburg lends itself well for a few reasons. First, its a battle you can pretty easily break down into parts — there are three major phases to the battle. Second, its a battle with fascinating characters. Third, it was an extremely important battle just like Gettysburg — both politically and in men’s lives. Plus, the Sharpsburg battlefield is nearly pristine and is studded with less monuments than Gettysburg. It would be the perfect place to shoot a movie.

I’ve been to Sharpsburg several times. Next to Gettysburg, its my favorite battle to study. Its a beautiful battlefield, probably better preserved than even, say, Gettysburg. I imagine only Shiloh or maybe Chickamauga in the west rival it. But its also a very small battlefield compared to Gettysburg. Cramped. Its hard to believe how much carnage happened in such a small area.

Sharpsburg is a fascinating story. Working backward, you could focus on A.P. Hill (yeah, you knew there was an ulterior motive … not my fault A.P. Hill was the Southern “hero of the day” to quote a certain sell-out washed up metal band) coming up at the nick of time versus his old classmate, Ambrose Burnside who owed Hill $8,000 and the difficulty the Federals had taking the bridge. In the center, you could focus on “Greasy Dick” Richardson or the Irish Brigade versus John B. Gordon — who suffered six terrible wounds on that warm September day. At the Dunker Church, you could focus on Jackson or on Hood’s men versus the Iron Brigade or you could focus in on Hooker or any number of interesting Union generals. Just pick one.

On the high level command side — gosh, you have Mr. Audacity, Robert E. Lee. If any battle proved that Robert E. Lee had guts of steel and was a gambler at heart, Sharpsburg probably is it. Why he stood and fought … beyond me. Either he was completely audacious or he just had total and utter contempt for his opponent McClellan. Probably a bit of both.

I’d also like to see McClellan protrayed. You could also work in that great story about how Hill and McClellan pursued the hand of the same girl in the antebellum period. What a great story. This was a “Brothers War.” I’d like to see a nod given to the fact that things weren’t quite as easy being the commander of the Army of the Potomac as they are made out to be sometimes by historians. In other words, I’d like to see a somewhat fairer version of McClellan than just the common view of historians that he was slow and incompetent. I actually think McClellan was a complicated individual and has gotten a mostly bum rap. After all, although he didn’t beat Lee, McClellan actually did better than Burnside and Hooker. [Then again, maybe that isn't saying much.]

So the 150th reunions are coming up. SI want a Sharpsburg movie. Made like <em>Gettysburg</em>. No boring love stories. Keep the politics mainly out. Tell the story of the battle, the command decisions. Someone out there with some writing ability, get to work. Write a Sharpsburg screenplay. Don’t make it have to be me.